It All Goes Wrong Till It's Right
by Amber Dread
Summary: Kylo and Rey are flat mates who constantly rub each other up the wrong way, when it gets to Christmas, Rey discovers that Kylo Ren is the Grinch personified... but Rey is having none of it... angst, mutual pining, rants, miscommunication, swearing, eventual smut and fluff. Reylo COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Nonlinear Timeline**

**'**

**It All Goes Wrong Till It's Right**

**'**

_**2 weeks to Christmas... **_

**'**

Kylo Ren was a massive class A twat… no wait, not a twat, a twat is a vagina and they are pretty fucking awesome. No, Kylo Ren was a huge, miserable, muscle-bound cretin who had unfairly amazing hair and what sounded like an awesome family who for some reason (oh yeah, maybe because he was a colossal dick) he apparently hated.

Rey was currently decorating their living room and muttering to herself under her breath as she did it.

They had just had a row over her Christmas decorations and music, Kylo Ren is seemed, was a total grinch. Perhaps Rey should have worked that out on her own though, considering the last six months of flat sharing with him, (such a terrible idea, she was tempted to strangle Poe when she next saw him… though she had had that idea about three times a day since she moved in and hadn't done so yet,) she should have realised Kylo would hate anything remotely happy.

Well, he would need to suck it up and deal with it, because it was Christmas and Rey would be celebrating it whether he liked it or not.

Rey had a moderate size bedroom and they shared the open plan kitchen and living room, where as Kylo had a huge bedroom and adjoining room all to himself, and that was where he could stay if the decorations disgusted him so much.

Sometimes he reminded her of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, skulking in his dark room, dressing only in black, skin pale from lack of sunlight. At least he didn't have an obsession with shiny things or strangling people, at least there was that.

After Rey had refused to take the decorations back down or turn off her music, he had kicked the small Christmas tree making it fall over and stormed back to his room, slamming the door and turning up his own music so she couldn't hear hers.

Sometimes Rey wished she could see his birth certificate, just to check he wasn't actually a teenager, because he sure acted like one.

She rescued the tree and set it up again, still muttering. It wasn't even that big, or used much space, it wasn't real so there'd be no needles dropping and it didn't have crazy flashing lights or anything, so she really couldn't understand his problem… well, other than him just being a horrible krampus. That made her giggle a little to herself, maybe she should start calling him Krampus Ren.

**'**

Once she had everything to her liking, she made herself a cup of Christmas tea and settled on the floor in her room to wrap up presents with noise cancelling headphones firmly jammed over her ears. She had found after just a few days of living with Kylo that normal headphones just wouldn't cope. To be fair she _had_ known he was in a metal band but what hadn't occurred to her was how _loud_ and penetrative electric guitar could be. Thank goodness he wasn't a drummer.

So she now spent a lot of her time with her expensive but necessary headphones on or earplugs in, just to stay sane.

Still, the rent was very reasonable and she lived in a far nicer area than she would have otherwise been able to afford. The flat was close to town, close to work and most importantly close to her friends. Plus, at least Kylo was clean and tidy compared to most guys _and_ he had his own ensuite bathroom so that was never an issue either.

**'**

By the time she was done wrapping presents she had calmed down enough to find herself smiling back at her reflection in her mirror as she did her make up for a night out with her friends.

Although it was Poe who had introduced her to Kylo in the first place, when she needed a place to live, he and Kylo seemed to mostly hang out in different groups, and she was more than fine with that.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo fucking hated Christmas and Rey was practically shoving it down his throat. It was impossible to escape it outside his flat, but until now that had been a Christmas free zone. Until Rey.

And she been burning fucking candles again. The living area had smelled of cinnamon and orange, she _knew_ how he felt about candles, even though he couldn't see the offending item, he knew there had been one.

He growled to himself in frustration and punched his leather computer chair, knocking it over, which irritated him even more.

Kylo cranked up Slipknot and lay back on his bed huffing a sigh, at least her stupid cheerful music was easy to drown out.

If Rey and Poe weren't so chummy, he would think that Poe had suggested Rey move in with him to spite them both. Yet they still seemed to spend a lot of time together so Kylo had to conclude that Poe was a bloody eejit instead of an evil genius.

**'**

He dozed for a bit, fading in and out as he idly mused over possible lyrics for a new song he was writing.

Once The Gray Chapter had come to an end, he got up and took a shower, then wandered out to the kitchen to consider dinner options.

He found a pizza and as he waited for the oven to warm up, he made himself coffee and put Rey's offensively Christmasy tea bags in the top cupboard so she couldn't reach them.

Her door opened just as he brought his arm back down and he turned to look at her, enjoying her cheeks flushing and her eyes quickly darting away from him when she registered that he was only wearing a towel around his hips.

She didn't comment, she never did and in truth he probably would have stopped doing it if she had asked him to, but her reactions were too amusing - she was such a prude.

He watched her as she went about gathering her coat and gloves and keys. She looked good, she usually did but he found his mouth a little dry over the top she was wearing. It was black with sparkly silver things on with a plunging V neck exposing a large expanse of smooth skin and the slight curves of her breasts. Her hair was loose for a change, instead of haphazardly pulled into a bun... he found himself wanting to run his tongue from the bottom of the V all the way up to her throat…

Kylo quickly turned away from her and put his pizza in the oven, trying to will his cock back to sleep and wondering who she was dressing up for.

Once the pizza was in he took himself back to his room to dress, and Rey was gone by the time he came back out to the kitchen.

**'**

**_6 Months, 3 days ago..._**

**'**

Kylo had mixed feelings about the idea of having a female room mate. On one hand, they'd probably be clean and easier to deal with than another guy, but on the other hand, they'd probably fancy him and have a problem with how many girls he brought back, get jealous or something… still, Poe had persuaded him to at least meet the girl in question who was apparently having trouble with a stalker and she needed to move somewhere safe as soon as possible.

They were having a casual meet up in the pub, Poe was already with him and they were catching up when there was the nervous sound of a throat being cleared and he looked up to see a slightly scruffy but pretty girl standing a few paces away from their table.

Poe grinned and shot to his feet pulling her into a hug before turning to Kylo, "Rey, this is Kylo Ren, Kylo, this is Rey Heike."

Kylo got to his feet so he could shake her slender hand, her eyes widened as he got to his full height and he held his amusement inside, he was used to the reaction but it seldom failed to give him a rush.

That was her only acknowledgement of his appearance though, which surprised him but he didn't dwell on it as they sat back down and discussed rent and what that included.

He made sure he remembered Poe's request to not mention to her that he was doing this as a favour rather than because he really needed a flat mate - apparently she was too proud to accept 'charity', even from her friends.

By the time he had to leave for band practice, they had agreed that she would move in in three days time and he had taken a deposit on rent and given her his spare keys.

'

**~'~*~'~**

'

Poe had been rather vague on details but Rey had jumped at the chance to move out of her dingy studio flat in the seedy back end estate on the edge of town. And it was nice to think she was helping someone else out too, Poe mentioned this guy was desperate for a flat mate in order to stay where he was after being let down by someone.

He'd also told her she shouldn't mention that as the guy in question was a little proud, Rey had smiled over that and nodded, a little amused.

When she found them at a table in the Caroline, she had done a double take, surprised that Poe hadn't mentioned what this guy looked like. Poe may be happy and all gooey eyed at Finn these days, but he never failed at spotting talent and this guy had it in spades… plus he was bloody huge.

His hand engulfed hers as they shook and his voice when he spoke was like dark, warm molasses, the timbre of it sending a tingle down her spine… she mentally shook herself and pushed any rising feelings of interest away as they settled down and talked details.

The rent price he gave her was only a little more than her current place _and_ it included bills. It almost seemed too good to be true, and it made her think there had to be some sort of catch, but he was an old friend of Poe's so she doubted he had anything awful to hide. He seemed nice enough, quiet when compared to Poe's bounciness, a bit introverted. He mentioned he was in a band and would practice at home a lot but she was fairly sure she could live with that after putting up with her current unsavoury neighbour's screaming matches, fights and aggressive make up sex.

She left Poe soon after Kylo departed, eager to get home and start packing up her things.

**'**

**_6 months ago…_**

**'**

"This all you taking Peanut?" Finn asked her as he and Poe entered her studio and looked around, eyebrows raised.

Rey shrugged and grinned, "Yup. Kylo said my room already has a bed and a desk and stuff, so I'm golden. Now, let's get the fuck out of this shit hole."

She picked up a duffle bag and a box and would have skipped if the box wasn't full of books and really heavy.

They loaded up Poe's truck quickly and swung by her letting agent to hand in her keys and sort out the return of her deposit.

She hadn't actually bothered to look at Kylo's place before she moved in so she was surprised by how nice the building was when Poe pulled into a space outside.

Finn whistled, "Looks like you've gone up in the world, Peanut."

Rey could only nod as they got out and started unloading things to take in. She felt her eyebrows rise even more when they entered the lobby to find it had a lift… she started worrying all over again about what Kylo could be hiding, _he didn't deal drugs did he?_

As they didn't have to take the stairs, they collected everything from the truck before jamming it all in the lift and going up to the top floor. Rey felt nervous now, butterflies fluttering about in her chest cavity. Finn and Poe had taken the stairs as there hadn't been room for them all and Rey knew which things could cope with being squished.

When the lift doors opened they revealed Kylo, he gave her a nod as he reached in to grab two boxes, then turned and made his way down the corridor to an open door. He wasn't wearing shoes and looked like he had just stepped out of the shower, dark wet hair still dripping down his back, his black vest damp.

Rey shut her slightly parted lips and started removing things from the lift.

'

**~'~*~'~**

'

Kylo had thrown on a vest and jeans when Poe text him to say they had arrived. He had almost forgotten that Rey moved in today and he was relieved he had at least had a shower.

It was early July so he left his hair as it was and went to wait by the lift so he could give them a hand with Rey's things. Hopefully if he helped, it would be done quicker and then Poe and his irritating boyfriend, Finn, would leave.

When the lift door opened any greeting he had been about to offer dried up on the sight of Rey, squeezed into a small space, dressed in shorts so small he wasn't sure they could be called shorts and a tight vest top. Her golden skin was glistening with sweat, her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and her face was clear of any make up, but… he gave her a nod and grabbed the first two boxes he could reach before retreating.

Of course he realised as he entered his flat that the sensible thing to do would be to empty the lift first, then bring stuff inside. Too late now.

He'd get used to her, he decided as he dumped the boxes in what was now her room and made his way back out to the corridor, she wasn't his type anyway, no matter how toned her legs were.

Not his type at all.

**'**

**_5 months 24 days ago…_**

**'**

Rey seemed to only own scruffy ripped jeans and tiny shorts, apart from the tight black trousers she wore to work, Kylo reflected, as he ignored Phas and Hux arguing over a set list, instead trying not to watch (and failing) as Rey bent over the counter top in the kitchen area, her ragged denim shorts riding perilously high up her thighs, as she discussed a recipe she was looking at with someone on the phone.

"If you aren't going to take the bait, Kylo, I will," Blaise drawled and Kylo's eyes snapped away from Rey to see the his bassist get to his feet and saunter over to where Rey was still obliviously leaned over the counter, her back still turned to them.

He folded his arms, unsure whether to tell Blaise to leave her alone or watch what happened.

He had not expected Blaise to just go and smack on her the arse though, otherwise he would have stopped him.

Rey let out an outraged yelp and without missing a beat or turning round, she brought one of her feet up and connected soundly to Blaise's groin. He gave a surprised but agonised groan as he sunk to the floor, while Phasma and Hux pissed themselves laughing.

Rey was by now facing them, her cheeks flushed with fury as she glared down at Blaise "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" When the groaning man didn't answer coherently she looked up to scowl at Kylo, "If he ever does that again he won't ever get to procreate," and with that she took her recipe book and her phone and disappeared into her room, slamming the door behind her.

"I like her," Phasma declared, grinning.

Hux shook his head, "If she didn't want smacking on the arse she shouldn't have it on display like that."

Kylo winced just before Phasma punched Hux on the arm, she was their drummer and built like a brick shit house and Kylo knew from experience that being punched by her _hurt_.

"Guess you'll be taking a lot of cold showers from now on, Kylo," Hux said as he rubbed his arm and glared at Phasma who just grinned back.

Kylo shrugged, "She's not my type."

Hux rolled his eyes, "She isn't I'll grant you, but you're going to be seeing _that_ everyday. You've got eyes."

Kylo shrugged again, "Familiarity breeds indifference, give me a few weeks and I won't even notice she's a girl."

Phasma and Hux exchanged a look, then Hux said, "One ton says he bangs her within a month."

Phasma tilted her head as she looked at Blaise who was now getting gingerly to his feet, then nodded, "I'll take it."

They shook on it as Blaise rejoined them, gently sitting himself down, face a little pale as he winced, "She does that again and I am bending her over and spanking her like she deserves" he hissed.

Kylo shook his head, even as he secretly thought how much he'd like to do that himself, "No, you aren't. My house, my rules, you deserved that, just leave her alone from now on."

"Face it Blaise, you got owned by a pocket bint," Hux said, smirking.

Blaise just glared at him.

'

**~'~*~'~**

'

**_5 months 19 days ago…_**

**'**

Rey was still furious over the arse slapping incident. Even more so, because Kylo hadn't apologised for his friends behaviour. She was beginning to see why the rent was so low - his bandmates were rude and loud, he kept very unsociable hours, whether he was practicing or playing music it was LOUD, and he had all the social graces of a badger in a sack… but she had coped with way worse than this so she carried on, counting her blessings and thankful that she now slept in a room that wasn't covered in black mould and peeling yellow paint; it would have to get a lot worse before she missed her studio.

For a man of his size, he moved surprisingly quietly when he wanted to, and he only ever seemed to want to when it meant it would startle her.

She had climbed onto the kitchen counter and was kneeling on it, trying to reach something in on top of the top cupboard when he spoke from behind her and she almost fell off.

"That's not very-" he cut off and steadied her before carrying on, "That's not safe, you should have stood on a chair or asked me." As he said this, he nonchalantly reached up and pulled down the bottle of lemonade her fingers had just been closing on, and placed it on the counter next to her.

"I was fine," she muttered angrily, hating his oh so condescending tone and even more irritated by his insistence of helping her back onto the floor.

He smirked at her, "Sure you were," and grabbed a can from the fridge before going back to his room.

"Not all of us are bloody giants," she threw at his back, but he either didn't hear or didn't care to respond. He was insufferable.

'


	2. Chapter 2

**_5 months 15 days ago…_**

**'**

Rey had now decided that she really did not like Kylo's friends, his self entitled attitude or how he looked when he got out of the shower. She also did not like the way he wandered around in just a towel or how warm his body seemed to be everytime he got anywhere near her. And the way he smelled, of spice and darkness, she hated that. She hadn't listened properly to any of his music but she decided she hated his band, Knightmare, too… though she conceded it was an apt name, all the members, bar Phasma who seemed okayish, were all fucking nightmares.

She said as much to Jess and Rose one day when they came over for drinks and to see the flat as Knightmare were currently out preparing for a gig.

Rose listened sympathetically but Jess started snickering and by the time Rey was done with her rant, she was openly cackling.

Rey raised her eyebrows as she sipped her gin, "What?"

Jess grinned, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

"Nope, you've lost me," Rey said as she looked questionly at Rose who shook her head.

"You just seem reeeeeally keen to convince us you hate him and he's a bellend, almost like you're trying to persuade yourself you don't like him… which makes me think you liiiike him," Jess answered as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Rey decided Jess had had too much gin, "You're an idiot. Rose, tell her she's an idiot."

Rather than immediately coming to Rey's defense however, Rose pursed her lips and shook her head, "Too soon to tell I think, but you don't normally butt heads with people this spectacularly Rey."

Rey snorted in disbelief, "That's because when I meet someone I don't get on with, I don't spend too much time with them. I don't have a choice here."

"You could move," Jess pointed out helpfully.

Rey didn't dignify that with an answer, apart from her flatmate, she liked it here, she would just suck it up and deal with it… and perhaps not talk about Kylo Ren anymore, she didn't want people getting the wrong end of the stick.

**'**

**_5 months 6 days ago…_**

**'**

Kylo entered the flat after a long day, tired and hungry and irritable. He was met by soft candle light and the strong, cloying scent of vanilla and honey.

Rey was curled up on one of the sofas, a book held loosely in her hands and her head on the arm, fast asleep.

She had fallen asleep whilst there were candles lit, _open fucking flames._

A shiver of horror went through him and he dropped his bag and kicked the front door shut, then turned the lights on and strode to the sofa. Rey had jerked awake at the front door banging and was blinking confusedly in the bright lights, if he weren't so pissed off, he may have thought she looked cute.

He blew out the candles, cursing as one of them dribbled wax on the glass coffee table, "Do you have a fucking death wish?"

She frowned back at him, "I'm sorry?"

"You bet you bloody are," he shot back as he moved the still warm candles onto a magazine then took them out to the kitchen and put them in the sink till they were cool enough to bin.

"Hey!" he turned to find her on her feet and glaring as she walked towards him, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Me? You were the one _sleeping_ while there were candles lit! You do know fire kills, right?" There was a possibility he was overreacting a little, but he didn't care, the memories of his uncle's house fire still haunted him.

Rather than looking guilty or horrified however, she laughed at him.

"I was just dozing, and they were perfectly safe sitting on the glass table, jesus Kylo, chill out."

Kylo resisted the urge to shake her and folded his arms instead, "I don't want you burning anymore candles, Rey, I mean it. They are dangerous and I hate the smell anyway."

He watched as she opened her mouth on what looked like an angry retort but she shut it again and settled back on her heels, "Fine." With that one word she went and fetched her book and retreated to her room.

Kylo didn't believe her for a second.

**'**

**_4 months 7 days ago…_**

**'**

Kylo had noticed, though he hadn't _meant_ to, that the two times Rey had brought a guy home, she made very little noise and when she did, it didn't sound genuine. In his opinion anyway.

It was 3am and he couldn't sleep, he was in the kitchen trying to decide if he should have coffee and just power through it or try some of Rey's weird chamomile tea instead, when his ears caught an entirely real sounding moan.

He instantly forgot about his drink dilemma in order to confirm that he wasn't going mad, as he knew Rey didn't have anyone over tonight.

Then there was the low yet unmistakable buzz of a vibrator and more soft moans and sighs, as if she were trying her best to be quiet.

His mouth watered even as his cheeks heated and his cock jumped, his hand was already gripping himself before he could think about it and he had to suppress a groan of his own as he ripped his hand away again.

He almost ran back to his room, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it breathing heavily.

There was no tea in the world that would get him to sleep now. Fuck.

He could no longer hear her, but it seemed he didn't need to as his mind recalled the sounds perfectly, replaying them on a loop in his head.

The noises she made on her own seemed to indicate that her previous partners had been subpar at best. She had been faking.

He went and lay on his bed and tried to think of anything other than what he would do to her to show her that not all men were shit in the sack, what he would do so she would make those noises for him.

He felt guilty, a bit like a creep when he gripped himself again, shutting his eyes even though it was dark, trying to think of the last girl he'd hooked up with, but her face kept changing to Rey's and in the end he became too desperate to fight it, shuddering to completion while his mind replayed her moans.

He lay still for a few moments as his body cooled and decided he needed to get laid, soon.

**'**

**_3 months 21 days ago…_**

**'**

Rey had bailed early on a horrendous date and gone home after a well timed (bogus) call of distress from Jess.

All Alex had wanted to talk about was his ex and how awful she'd been to him, Rey sympathised at first, everyone had a bad relationship at some point in their lives, but he had gone into gory detail, and when he mentioned the STI he'd got from that '_raving bitch'_, Rey decided that she would skip pudding and never see him again.

She thanked Jess profusely as she walked to the bus stop, then added his phone number to her blocked list as she sat on the bus.

Missing out on pudding seemed wrong and it had been a shit night anyway, so she picked up a tub of Phish Food before going home.

At first she thought Kylo was out, but as she hung up her coat, she realised he was in his room, the door was a jar and she could hear the soft sound of him playing his acoustic guitar.

Rey started moving silently, he didn't play it much and she loved this gentler side of his music, though she would never tell him that… and then he started singing, softly, just to himself and she almost melted into a puddle on the floor. He had never done this when she was around before, she'd only ever heard him sing to the sound of heavy guitars, harsh and deep.

Now his voice was beautiful and so full of emotion it almost took her breath away. He was singing Hurt by NIN, sitting in his dimly lit bedroom and she suddenly had the strangest urge to go and hug him, to breathe in his scent and feel his warmth surround her… _what the fuck?_ She shook herself and took her ice cream and a spoon into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her quietly.

Once settled in bed, she put Romy and Michele's High School Reunion on on her laptop and ate her ice cream, resolving to never listen to Kylo play like that again.

**'**

**_2 months 3 days ago…_**

**'**

Whenever Kylo brought a girl back, Rey was glad she had invested in her headphones and earplugs. Either he was really good or he just hooked up with women who made a lot of noise during sex. Probably the latter, no one made those noises in real life, that was porn or they were faking it.

Most of the time Rey found it easy to drown out - the couple who had lived next door to her at her last place had had noisy hate sex frequently and their walls had been thinner than the ones here.

But sometimes Rey found her mind wandering, her ears listening too intently and trying to work out what it was they were doing, or perhaps how they were doing it. Sometimes, she would get a commentary if the girl was especially enthusiastic.

It was difficult, when she knew what Kylo looked like in just a towel, when she knew (objectively of course) that he was sinfully attractive and her mind tried to picture how he'd look above her, biting those luscious lips as he…

Rey bit her own lip as she reached for her earplugs, but somehow her hand found her vibrator instead. She was really, really tired and just wanted to sleep but apparently her body had other ideas and _oh fuck it,_ he'd never know and if she just got on with it she'd fall asleep easily.

She slid her fingers into her panties to find them already a little wet, shutting her eyes and allowing her imagination free reign as she set her vibrator to the speed she liked and after sliding it against her slick slit, she positioned it on her clit for maximum effect.

Oddly, her imagination seemed most interested in the idea of kissing him, how his lips would feel against hers, how hot his tongue would be when it pushed into her mouth. She could almost feel the silk of his hair against her fingertips, and feel his large warm hands caressing their way over her skin… Rey came, stifling her moans as she twitched, back arching before she pulled the vibrator away when it became too much.

Once she had cleaned up, she settled back into bed eyes sliding shut almost immediately as she promised herself that it had been a one time thing and she wouldn't have any more moments of creepy weakness.

**'**

**_1 month 12 days ago…_**

**'**

To Kylo's surprise, Rey had offered him dinner when he got home. Kylo was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth and they had settled at the table with a sizzling pan of chicken fajita mix, salsa, grated cheese and warm, soft flour wraps.

He had grabbed them a beer each and they had eaten mostly in companionable silence, after the normal civilites had been exchanged.

Rey finished before him and after fidgeting a little she asked, "Do you have any plans for Christmas? Will you go and visit your parents?"

Kylo snorted, "Not if I can help it, they're a fucking nightmare - you're lucky you've never had parents to deal with," he cut himself off, as soon as he said it, wishing he could take those words back and swallow them whole. He opened his mouth to apologise but one look at her face told him she wouldn't hear anything he said.

Rey's eyes were wide and furious, and so, so hurt.

He didn't see the slap coming. It hit his right cheek so hard it snapped his head back with its force.

She stood up, eyes glittering as she spat, "Well if you ever discover how to travel back in time, let me know and we can swap. You can live in shitty foster care, get starved, get beaten and miserably count the down the days till you can leave and I'll take your fucking silver spoon in exchange!"

He felt each word as a blow and for once in his life he had no come back. The slamming of her bedroom door left him in silence, staring down at the food which up until now, he had been really enjoying. The thought of finishing it made him feel ill. _What the hell was wrong with him?_

He went out again, not wanting to be in Rey's space right now, though whether that was for her sake or his own, he wasn't sure.

Eventually he found his way to Phasma's door, she raised her pale eyebrows at him as she looked him up and down, then sighed, "What did you do?" she asked as she stood aside to let him enter.

Kylo shook his head as he collapsed on her sofa and groaned, ignoring the hiss of her Maine Coon, Grievous, as he leapt to safety.

"That bad?" Phasma as asked she joined him on the sofa and passed him a glass of whiskey, "Did you want to talk about it or shall I just punch you?"

Kylo swiftly sat up straight, though in truth, he deserved the pain, he shook his head, "I said something... terrible, and I have no idea how to even apologise, it was that bad."

Phasma snorted, "Not your usual bag, apologising for things. You're a dick and you own it, why is it different now? With Rey?"

Kylo frowned, "How did you know it was about Rey?"

Phasma just rolled her eyes at him and took a sip of her whiskey, before saying, "Because, you tool, she got under your skin, didn't she? Your face goes sort of soft when you mention her. I can see a church by daylight."

Kylo downed his whiskey then shook his head, "You're wrong, you're seeing things. I'd feel bad over this if it were someone else too. I basically told her she was lucky to be an orphan and not have parents."

Phasma pulled a face and whistled, "That was a low blow, even for you."

Kylo groaned, "God, I know, okay? So how do I make it right? I doubt she is going to hear any apology I try and give her."

"So do something nice for her, something she can have without talking to to you or being in your presence," Phasma said as she poured him another whiskey.

Kylo's mind refused to offer him anything useful, "Like what?" he asked, still at a total loss.

Phasma rolled her eyes, "Work it out yourself, you muppet. I'm a drummer not a fucking agony aunt."

Kylo sighed but nodded, she had a point.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey was angry crying. She was utterly livid, about what Kylo had just said and about the fact that she was crying. If he came in and saw her now he'd think she was upset, she wasn't, well she was, but not like that. She was angry, so, so angry at his entitled, spoilt, ungrateful attitude to his family. He had no idea how lucky he was, and she hated him for it.

She was relieved when she heard the front door go and she went out to the bathroom to wash her face and drink a glass of water.

Although they had had their differences, it had seemed like they were getting used to each other, settling down and she had even bought him a christmas present. She had found a Bitcrusher pedal on sale and had been really chuffed with it… like fuck he was getting it now though.

That made her start crying again, which was stupid. She hoped his cheek hurt, her hand certainly did.

She busied herself clearing away their dinner things because the bastard hadn't even had the decency to do that before leaving and she needed something to do.

She had been planning on asking him if he would be okay with her having some friends over on Christmas day, but she wasn't going to bloody ask now, he would just have to deal with it... and part of her didn't quite believe that he wouldn't be visiting his parents at some point anyway.

She was going to have dinner with her friends, drink mulled wine and play silly games, and open presents.

She was having Christmas.

**'**

**_Three weeks 2 days ago..._**

**'**

The Pavillion Palace looked otherworldly, like something out of a fairy tale lit in blues and pinks, the lights reflected in the smooth surface of the ice rink. Christmas music was being played on speakers as Rey and her friends waited eagerly at the gate to be allowed onto the ice.

It was the first Sunday in December and they'd managed to book a late slot at the ice rink that was put up during the holiday period.

Rey had always wanted to try ice skating, but the experience didn't go quite how she had envisioned it. In her head, she had imagined herself gliding gracefully over the ice like in the movies, but she was fairly certain that she looked more like a inebriated version of Bambi.

Yet despite the falls and near misses, she managed to enjoy herself anyway. Finn and Rose were almost as useless as she was and they stumbled awkwardly around together, breathless and laughing and trying to ignore Poe and Jess as they sped past them, grinning and calling out good natured insults and encouragement.

While they were moving, Rey was warm and didn't really feel any of her falls but once their hour was up and they sat in the refreshment tent, drinking Baileys hot chocolate, she started to feel the cold of her wet jeans and the bruises that must be covering her.

She was shivering and limping a little when they stood to leave and her walk home was more like a hobble, she decided a bath seemed like a very good idea and the prospect of one helped speed her pace a little.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo was having an argument with his father via Whatsapp when Rey came home. He looked up and frowned, getting to his feet in alarm as she stiffly limped through the door.

"Rey?" she looked up from where she was awkwardly removing her boots but didn't otherwise respond, he sighed slightly but made his way over to her, unable to hide his concern. "Are you okay? Did you get mugged or something?"

She rolled her eyes at him, then winced as she almost fell over, shaking off his steadying hand on her arm with a glare, "Of course not. We went ice skating… I fell over a few times." That last concession was added grudgingly.

Kylo suppressed a chuckle, he didn't think she'd take kindly to it. They still hadn't talked properly since his epic blunder.

He put his hands in his pockets for something to do as he said, "Want me to make you a cup of tea?"

She blinked at him, as if surprised, then her face hardened, "No, thank you. I'm going to take a bath."

He clenched his fists in his pockets as she went past him, biting his lip to prevent himself from saying anything else, knowing in his frustration he'd only make things worse.

Instead, he made up a hot water bottle and grabbed some paracetamol, leaving them in her room while she was in the bath, before going back to his bedroom.

Once again, his thoughts turned to what he could do that would make this right and once again, he came up with nothing.

**'**

**_Christmas Eve…_**

**'**

It was a cold, clear night and Rey's breath misted before her as she made her way home, her steps light and heart happy.

She had just come from Midnight Mass at a local church - she wasn't religious, neither were Jess or Rose, but there was something magical about going to church in the middle of the night and singing carols by candlelight.

Everyone had been smiling, wearing santa hats and antlers and other Christmas related accoutrements. The scent of the rich incense that had been used still hung about her, the little bells in her earrings jingling merrily as she walked.

There were lots of people still about, but no one bothered her and she made it home perfectly fine. She text Rose when she was in the lift because she knew she would worry if she didn't, despite Rey's assurances that she would be fine. Rose was a worrier.

Kylo had been out when she left, but as she got to the front door she could hear music and voices from inside and felt the smile slip from her face.

That reaction irritated her and she made her lips stretch again, determined to keep hold of her good cheer, even if it killed her.

Knightmare were all there, along with a few girls dressed as if they were going clubbing in summer.

No one noticed her at first and she quietly hung up her coat and took off her boots.

Phasma clocked her as she made her way into the kitchen, the tall woman gave her a small nod, "Fancy a drink, Rey?"

Rey smiled but shook her head and got herself some water, "No, thank you. I'm heading to bed."

Phasma smirked, "So a drink would help you sleep."

Again Rey shook her head, "I don't need help," her eyes moved over the room and came to rest on Kylo, who hadn't seemed to notice her yet. There was a girl on his lap, almost grinding against him as he kissed his way up her neck.

It felt like something heavy had come to rest in her stomach and she quickly looked away, aware that her cheeks had heated.

"Goodnight," she muttered to Phasma as she bolted to her room.

It was odd, she hated Kylo, but her eyes were prickling with tears and she felt hurt but couldn't say why. She was probably just tired, that was it, of course it was.

She locked her door, not trusting that someone wouldn't mistake her room for the bathroom and pee in her wardrobe. Once in her cosy pyjamas, she burrowed under the duvet and to make herself feel better, went through a list of all the wonderful of things she would do tomorrow.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

It was a Knightmare tradition to go out and get hammered on Christmas eve, as none of them particularly like Christmas for various reasons.

They'd hit the pub early, pausing to eat when they felt the need, then carried on drinking. The Hobgoblin was their pub of choice, it had decent beer and only played metal and other alternative music. All the bar staff were wearing black santa hats with Bah Humbug written on, the tinsel and other decorations were black and that was all the Christmas cheer on offer.

It was perfect.

They headed back to Kylo's flat after midnight and cracked open a couple of bottles of Jägermeister and played strip poker.

The game paused for a while as Blaise and Hux argued the rules and Bazine climbed onto Kylo's lap. She was in a tiny black lace dress, red underwear easily visible underneath.

He let his fingers brush her sides, then circled her rear and pulled her against him, kissing her as she giggled. She pressed herself against his semi as he kissed down her swan like neck, and he groaned in appreciation.

Something made him slant his eyes away towards the kitchen and he was startled to see Rey standing talking to Phasma, he looked away quickly away again as she turned her head, not wanting to see her expression change as she looked at him.

When he saw Phasma return to the sofa, he drew away from Bazine, ignoring her whine and questing hands as he pushed her gently but firmly off his lap and stood up.

He took himself off to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot, eyeliner smudged, hair a mess and his lips were dark and a little swollen. There was a lump in his throat and a feeling of melancholy curled it's way through his mind. Something was wrong with him, but he didn't know what.

When he rejoined the others, he crossed his legs, offering up no space on his lap to Bazine or anyone else. He just wasn't in the mood.

'

'

* * *

**A/N: Forgot to do an authors note with first chapter. This has five chapters and is already written :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**_CW - throwing up (sick)_**

**'**

**_Christmas day…_**

**'**

Rey woke up with a thrill of excitement, a quick look out of her bedroom window showed it hadn't snowed, but that didn't dampen her mood any as she hadn't really expected it to.

As she made her way to the bathroom to shower, she noticed with a frown that Kylo and his friends hadn't bothered to tidy up last night. She supposed she should be grateful that no one was passed out on the sofa.

Once she was clean and dressed, she set about tidying and prepping the food and mulled wine for today.

Poe, Finn, Jess and Rose arrived a little after 11am, everyone was bright and animated and there was much hugging and kissing of cheeks done before they'd even shut the front door.

While everyone hung up their coats and took off their shoes, Rey served the mulled wine into glasses and put out the still warm gingerbread that she'd made earlier.

They settled on the sofas and exchanged presents, regressing back to children as they ripped them open and exclaimed with pleasure over what the wrappings revealed.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo awoke with a groan, wondering why he had surfaced so early. His head felt like someone was hitting it with an ice pick and he rolled over, hoping to somehow go back to sleep and feel better when he next awoke.

But there was a delicious smell lingering in the air, warm and spicy and sweet and it made his stomach rebell. He just made it to his bathroom before he lost what seemed like an ocean of acidic liquid interspersed with bits of whatever it was he had eaten yesterday.

The hurling hadn't helped his head either, he realised he wasn't going to go back to sleep now so he stripped and stood in the shower for a while, not thinking about anything, just letting the water pound his head and wash the sweat that came when he threw up, from his body.

He felt more awake and a little less like death when he finally got out and went to pull clothes on, and that was when he noticed with apprehension that there were voices coming from the living area.

He tried to recall if he and Rey had discussed Christmas, then remembered that Rey had begun to mention it when he fucked up.

Shitting hell.

Knightmare were due to come over soon for a repeat of yesterday - another tradition, or perhaps just a continuation of last nights one.

He frantically looked around for his phone to try and organise going round to one of the others places then remembered with a groan that he'd dropped it in the loo at the Hobgoblin and had forgotten to put it in a bag of rice when he got home last night. This just got fucking worse and worse.

Whatever happened, he needed coffee to cope with it and the coffee machine was out there along with painkillers and Berocca… and he should probably eat something too.

Fuck.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey was a little tiddly, cuddled up on the sofa with Jess and Rose, warm and merry and not thinking about Kylo at all. Not at all.

They were done with presents and were just chatting, Finn and Poe were on the other sofa having a tickle fight of all things. It was certainly entertaining.

"Kylo! Woah, you look like shit buddy, late night last night?"

Rey jerked up and turned to crane her head to where Poe was looking, at Kylo's bedroom door.

Poe was not wrong, Kylo was normally pale of course, but today his skin was deathly white, his dark eyes and lips contrasting with the snowy sheen to his skin, shadows smudged beneath his eyes.

He winced as he blinked in the light and carefully nodded at Poe.

"Yeah," he coughed a little and tried again, voice rough still, "It was a heavy one… anyone want coffee?"

"Actually, yes. If I don't I may fall asleep," Poe said with a grin as he got up, and looked questioningly at the others.

"Or I have Christmas tea if you prefer," Rey added, getting to her feet.

Rose pulled her back down, "No, no, Poe can do it, can't you? You've already done a lot."

Poe gave them a sunny smile, "Sure I can, so tea for Peanut, coffee for me, who else wants what?"

Rey sent Rose a grateful look as she settled back down on the sofa, murmuring, "Thanks."

Rose nodded, "No problem, Poe can be so dense sometimes."

Rey hadn't been telling Poe much about her problems with Kylo, they were friends after all, however inexplicable that was, and she didn't want to put Poe into an awkward position. That being said, he did know some of it, partly because Finn had caught her crying a few days after Kylo had told her she should be grateful to not have a family. Finn had called Poe over and had insisted on knowing what had happened. Rey had never been able to lie to Finn - they'd been fostered together in their teens and he knew her too well for her to hide things from him.

"Also, you did not mention how mouthwateringly hot he is, even with a hangover he's ten times more gorgeous than my last ten dates," Jess whispered so only she and Rose could hear.

Rose rolled her eyes and Rey just looked at Jess, confused by a sudden feeling of jealousy. She pushed it firmly down, not even wanting to think what had caused it

"If you want a go, knock yourself out," she said as casually as she could, "Just don't be surprised when he's a massive git."

Jess arched an eyebrow at her and folded her arms, "Rey, honey, friends don't hit on friend's secret crushes."

Rey made an quiet but outraged noise, "Absolutely not. You're wrong, so, so wrong."

Jess sighed and looked at Rose, "Guess we'll just have to start calling her Cleopatra then."

Rose nodded sagely, "It is appropriate."

And to Rey's confused look, Jess said, "Cos, you know, you're so deep in denial."

There was a brief pause, then all three of them broke into choked giggles, Rey laughing along too, even though she didn't agree with them.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Even in his hungover, moody state, Kylo couldn't help noticing how cute Rey looked, in a wooly yet somehow sexy jumper and ripped jeans. Her cheeks were a little pink and her eyes were bright. He hated to think that he was interrupting her Christmas… but she should have told him her plans.

Poe joined him in the kitchen area as he put the coffee on and boiled the kettle for tea.

"So, did you manage to make Rey's present?" Poe asked quietly as he set out mugs.

Kylo quickly glanced to where Rey was still sitting with her two girlfriends, "Yeah, sort of, but I don't know if she'll accept it, she is still barely talking to me, I had no fucking idea you were all coming today."

**'**

A few days after he and Rey had had their argument, Kylo had received an furious call from Poe, wanting to know why he had said something so awful to his friend. After Kylo had calmed him down, Poe had agreed to meet for a drink and Kylo explained what happened but also how sorry he was.

It had been a while later, while Kylo was still desperately trying to think of something to do for Rey, that he thought to text Poe and ask him, after all, he was one of Rey's best friends.

Poe had replied with a rude gif followed by, '**Really? You're a bloody musician! No one is able to stay mad at you if you write them a song, you tool!'**

Kylo had almost facepalmed, before pulling out his notebook and starting to write. Yet all the words he wrote seemed too much, he couldn't seem to write her anything that didn't make it sound like she was his girlfriend or something. So instead, he had written and recorded her a piece of music, pouring these strange feelings into a melody, chords and baseline, that kept tempo with the beat of his heart.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

To Rey's surprise and not a little disquiet, Kylo joined them on the sofas. She had expected him to slink back to his room and sleep some more, she had no idea what time he got to bed, but it looked had to have been late.

He sat with Finn and Poe and she was amused to see Finn casting dark looks at Kylo whenever he wasn't looking.

There was a pause as everyone sipped their drinks, then Kylo cleared his throat awkwardly, darted his eyes to her face then away as he said, "So, ah, I've got some friends coming over soonish," he looked back at her, "You should have told me you had plans here."

…_**.Oh **__**hell**_ _**no**_**. **"You what? You should have told me!"

He glared back at her as she leaned towards him, "How? You've been refusing to hold even the most basic of conversations!"

Rey threw her next words at him like daggers, "Oh and I wonder why that was."

She was satisfied when she saw him flinch a little, as if her words had actually stabbed him, then to her dismay, she felt guilt rise up in her, draining away the satisfaction and leaving her hollow.

Poe interjected before Kylo could shoot back his reply, "Hey guys, chill, it's Christmas, season of goodwill and all that, I'm sure we can all hang out together without it being a problem."

Finn cast a doubtful look at his other half and Rey mirrored it as she took a deep, calming breath while she tried to find a way around being in Kylo's presence all day - relaxing around him was always so difficult.

By then however, it was too late. Someone banged on their door and she knew that that kind of knock was either a member of Knightmare or the police, and she was 99.9% sure it wasn't the pigs... Well shit.

She groaned as Kylo got up and went to answer, putting her head in her hands, "I am so, so sorry, you guys. I thought he'd be lurking in his room all day or over at his parents."

Jess patted her back comfortingly, "It'll be fine, let's get more mulled wine in you."

"I don't think I've got enough food for us _and_ them!" Rey moaned.

Finn snorted, "Peanut, you always make too much food, it'll be fine and we can bulk it out with other stuff if we need. Calm down, have some wine and everything will be fine. See it rhymes, so it must be true."

Rey sighed deeply and willed the tension out of her neck and shoulders, smiling back at him, "Okay. Okay, then," and she got up to go and set more wine to mull on the stove.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo opened the front door to find Phasma, Hux and Blaise grinning on the other side. Everyone's eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles underneath like his own, yet cheerful all the same. Before they could come in though, he stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him till there was just a small gap.

"Okay, so plans have changed a bit. Turns out Rey has friends here today, so either we hang out with them too, or we can go to one of your places, my phone is still dead so I couldn't contact you to let you know."

"Ugh, I can't be arsed to walk anywhere else and we can always fuck off into your bedroom if they're annoying," Blaise said with a shrug.

Phasma's lips twitched in a smirk as she shrugged, "May as well give it a go."

They all looked at Hux, who seemed a little distracted, Blaise poked him in the ribs and his focus returned, "There is no way I am walking away from whatever is making that delicious smell."

Kylo nodded tightly, took a deep breath and led them through the door.

Rey was in the kitchen area, clearly making more mulled wine and she had already set out more gingerbread. Kylo's mouth watered, his stomach forgetting how rebellious it had been not so long ago.

She gave he and the others a smile as she greeted them, it looked a little strained but she was clearly trying to be nice. Kylo couldn't help wishing she would give him a genuine one, but he would take what he could get for now, in the hopes that they would get past this deadlock.

Introductions were made between the two groups as the wine was served and they sat down. Blaise's eyes studied Rey's two girlfriends with interest as Hux tried his wine, sighing in contentment. Kylo followed suit and a low hum of pleasure escaped him, she had got the perfect balance of spices and sweetness. The taste and scent made him think of Christmases with his parents and he quickly took a gingerbread star to chase those annoying thoughts away.

"Well aren't you a pretty little thing," Phasma said, looking down at Rose whom she had sat next to.

Kylo had to grin, Phasma always led the way in this respect, she was the world's biggest flirt. Rey's friend's eyes went wide with surprise as a blush rose in her cheeks but she raised her eyebrows challengingly as she looked Phasma up and down before answering, "And aren't you just a tall drink of water."

There were chuckles all round and the buzz of tension in the air eased a little.

"So, what are you guys up to?" Blaise asked generally, "We tend to just drink ourselves into oblivion."

Poe laughed, "We do normal Christmas stuff, food, games, TV and ALL of the wine."

"That's handy," Hux said gesturing to the bag he had brought in, "Because I bought a lot of wine."

"And I brought Cards Against Humanity with me," Blaise added with a grin.

"This could go horribly wrong," Finn said, "We'll need to mull some more wine."

And yet to Kylo's surprise, (and probably Rey's too) it didn't go wrong. Very soon everyone was smiling and laughing, sometimes a little with shock or horror, but the atmosphere wasn't strained or awkward.

Kylo's eyes were repeatedly drawn back Rey and tantalising black bra strap that kept showing as her knitted jumper slid down one shoulder.

At one point, Phasma, (who was sitting a lot closer to Rose that she had originally started off) caught his wandering gaze and arched an pale eyebrow at him. He grimaced and looked down at his cards hoping he wasn't being so transparent to anyone else. It was just the bra strap anyway, the contrast of it against her golden skin and the red of the jumper was distracting, that was all.

They paused play for Rey and Finn to do things in the kitchen - he and the other members of Knightmare had been surprised but pleased when Rey had said they could join her friends for dinner.

Phasma produced an enormous tin of Cadbury Heroes and put it in the middle of the coffee table, waving a hand in invitation as she said, "So who else is pissed off about there being no Doctor Who special today?"

Kylo grinned at Rose and Hux expressed their outrage and the three of them started an angry discussion over what Chris Chibnall's motives could possibly be for ruining a wonderful thirteen year tradition. Doctor Who fans were fanatics.

Blaise gave up attempting to get Jess to flirt back at him and went out on the balcony for a cigar.

Kylo shut his eyes and rested his head against the sofa, his head was okay now but he was still really tired. Hopefully once he'd eaten his energy would pick up a bit and his mind would be able to chase down the nagging feeling that he had forgotten something important.

Somehow Rey, with a little help from her friends, (Finn had made cranberry and walnut stuffing, Rose had made a plum pudding and Jess had made mince pies) Christmas dinner was good.

They all managed to squeeze around the dining table, there was a lot of elbow banging and muttered apologies, but they made it work. And if there was a larger than average vegetable to meat ratio, no one minded a bit.

Poe had brought Christmas crackers and they all linked hands, pulling them all at once. Kylo's paper hat was pink but no one would swap with him, Phasma made him wear it anyway.

Oddly, he wasn't sure how, he and Rey ended up seated next to each other. She smelled good, like mulled wine and some sort of sweet flower.

"Thanks," he said quietly and a little nervously, "For letting us join you."

She glanced up at him, a little blush colouring her cheeks, probably from the wine. "That's okay, it is Christmas after all," she bit her lip and looked away from him, "And I'm sorry things have been so fraught here lately."

Kylo let out a sigh of relief he thought he may have been holding since their huge argument, "That's okay, I'm sorry too."

Rey glanced back up at him and smiled and he suddenly and stupidly realised that he was totally into her.

Phasma was fucking right.

'


	4. Chapter 4

'

To Rey's relief, dinner worked out well, everyone one seemed happy and she felt a warm and happy glow curl through her at the sight of a table full of food and full of friends.

As she ate, her mind kept going back to one of the cards she had got earlier... _The moist, demanding cavern of his mouth..._ She hadn't played it, but as soon as she picked it up, all she had been able to think about was Kylo.

It was ridiculous, and was probably the wine directing her thoughts... yet it made her wonder why her mind would go there in the first place. As they played, she found herself enjoying watching his face. He rarely seemed to laugh and she found witnessing it pulled at something deep inside her, a warmth blossoming, an strange ache in the pit of her stomach and chest.

Having him sit next to her was a little distracting, as ever his body warmth was palpable and whatever aftershave or body wash he used smelled wonderful and somehow comforting. She wondered how it would be curling up in his lap, running her fingers through that long, glossy black hair… god she was more drunk than she thought. _Time to eat up Rey, before you make a fool of yourself! _

**'**

They were just settling down on the sofas again, with mugs of Christmas tea or more mulled wine, when there was a knock on the door.

She looked at Kylo curiously, trying to ignore the worry that the girl she had seen him with last night had arrived, "Were you expecting anyone else?"

He shook his head slowly then his expression became horrified, "Oh bloody hell, it's-" he was interrupted by the sound of a key in the door and everyone watched as four middle aged people paused on the threshold. "-My parents," he finished resignedly.

Everyone seemed unsure how to react, a little as if they were teenagers at a house party and the grown ups had come home early.

His family seemed taken aback too and to Rey's surprise, she found herself the first on her feet, a slightly nervous smile on her face as she went to greet them.

"Hi," she said as she reached them, holding out her hand to Kylo's mother, "Err, my names Rey, I'm Kylo's flatmate."

The woman smiled and shook her hand, "Of course, it is so nice to meet you, Rey. Kylo has told us all about you. I'm Leia and this is Kylo's father, Han," she gestured to the tall man with mischievous hazel eyes, who gave her a smile and a nod, "My brother, Luke," the shorter man with a shaggy beard and piercing blue eyes, "And this is Chewie," she gestured to the ridiculously tall man with a beard and hair so long he looked like a lion. His hand was so large as he shook it she felt like a small child.

"Hi."

Kylos deep voice sounded right behind her and she jumped a little in surprise. Leia fixed him with a firm look and a hard eye.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call, but my phone died so I didn't get the reminder," he mumbled contritely as he hugged his mother and kissed her on the cheek.

Leia gave him a skeptical look and he frowned, "I'm not lying, you can see it if you don't believe me."

Han gave a snort of derision,and folded his arms, "I'm sure Rey here would have been happy to lend you her phone, you idiot."

Kylo glared at him...

"Would you like to hang up your coats and I can get you something to drink?" Rey interjected anxiously, feeling the tension ratchet up.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Remarkably, Rey wrangled his family into sitting down and having a drink without any sort of argument whatsoever. Kylo did not know how she did it, but it may have helped that they had a large audience.

The atmosphere was rather stilted until Han spotted the Cards Against Humanity box and to Kylo's absolute horror, Phasma explained what it was and how to play it.

And then they were somehow all playing, he felt like he'd slipped into another reality. He wasn't that surprised that his Father and Chewie had embraced it, no, what utterly shocked him was his Mother, who ended up _winning_. His prim and proper Mother produced the most outrageous and cutting responses, smiling smugly as she amassed the stack of cards she had won. If he hadn't witnessed it, he wouldn't have believed it possible.

When the game was done, they had drinks and nibbly things. His Mother had brought a large Panettone, which Rey sliced and served with butter. There were more mince pies, a few pieces of gingerbread and Phas' tin of chocolates.

His Mother sat next to him as she sipped some of Rey's awful tea. "I must say I am surprised, Ben," she said quietly, but he winced anyway. "I had assumed you had embellished Rey a little, you made her sound so nice I thought she may be made up or something… she really is lovely, and here you are, celebrating the holiday you hate without being three sheets to the wind. I had intended to throw a bucket of water over you, but it seems that isn't necessary."

Kylo glared at her and sat up straighter, "That reminds me, where did you get that key?"

His mother just smirked at him, "Oh Ben, I never reveal my tricks, you know that."

He huffed a sigh but couldn't be bothered to be cross, he was still so relieved to have Rey not trying to bite his head off and he didn't want to upset the current status quo.

His father sidled up to him and dropped what looked suspiciously like a small branch of something into his lap with a grin, "Thought that may come in handy," he said as he sat on the arm of the sofa and kissed Leia's hair.

Kylo gave him a bewildered look, "For what?"

Han chuckled, "It's mistletoe idiot, you look like you need some help."  
Annoyingly, Kylo felt himself blush, he tried covering it with a glare but his parents sparkling eyes informed him he hadn't been successful.

"It's not like that," he muttered, "We're just flatmates."

Han grinned, "I didn't say it was for Rey, son."

Fuck, he hadn't.

Well he'd well and truly walked into that one.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey was feeling weird and confused, something fluttered in her chest every time she heard Kylo's voice, and her cheeks warmed everytime she looked at him. It had to be the wine. It had to be.

The two sofas and two armchairs were large, but a few of them were sitting on the floor and she had the strangest urge to climb onto Kylo's lap, like that girl had last night… but that girl was probably Kylo's girlfriend or something and anyway, if she tried that he would probably push her off… _oh god, shut up brain! Think about something else, anything else!_

Blaise smiled at her from across the room, she briefly considered it, then almost slapped herself in shock and put her wine down. She would _never_ be that desperate, fucking handsy bastard.

With the seating being taken up, Rose had ended up on Phasma's lap, and Rey was pretty sure they'd be going home together. They looked a little comical - Rose was so little and cute and Phasma so tall and imposing, but neither seemed to mind.

Hux was having what looked like a deep conversation with Jess, or rather Hux was talking and Jess was sizing him up - she had a thing for redheads.

What with Finn and Poe snuggling together, that left she and Blaise… but no, _hell no._

She tried to distract herself from her stupid thoughts by studying Kylo's family. She really was unable to see his problem, they seemed lovely and she still couldn't believe that his mother, whom seemed so graceful and refined, had won their card game. Perhaps she should ask him again if he'd like to swap… she grimaced to herself, _had she overreacted over his comment last month?_ It could have just been a slip of the tongue. Perhaps she had been unfair.

The night she had hurt herself ice skating she had found paracetamol and a hot water bottle in her room, he had been the only one there. Little things he did for her came back to her in a rush, he always asked how her day had been, if she had slept well, sometimes made her tea when she knew he hated it and he always bought soya milk if he did a shop because he knew she was allergic to regular milk.

Her gaze was brought inexorably back to him, like a lodestone, her eyes always returning to him. Her mouth went dry as she realised what had happened to her.

She watched as his father handed him what looked like mistletoe and she felt a lump form in her throat as she caught his gaze flit to Jess and away.

_Of course it would be Jess, _she was beautiful and funny and clever… Rey escaped to the loo, she needed a moment to breathe and will the prickling in her eyes away. She should be happy, glad for her friend, who had so admired him earlier, that he liked her back. This would pass.

Today had been wonderful, such a gift, and she should be grateful. She was.

She went back out and plopped herself down next to Finn, snuggling against his comforting presence.

"Penny for your thoughts, Peanut?" he asked as he slung an arm around her and pulled her tight against him.

She did a little shrug, "Just a bit tired is all and wanted a hug from my brother from another mother."

She felt as well as heard his chuckle, "Alright, sister from another mister. But you look a little blue. That's not allowed on Christmas."

"Meh, maybe missing having someone of my own," she laughed a little, "Everyone seems to have paired off."

There was a paused, then, "So why don't you?"

Rey snorted, "Blaise? Really? You wound me."

Finn let out an exasperated sigh, "Not Blaise, you hobbyhorse," he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "_Kylo_."

Rey felt misery rise in her and did her best to stuff it back down, "Don't be silly, he likes Jess."

"You, Peanut, are the only person in this room that doesn't realise the dude is head over heels," Finn explained patiently, as if she were being particularly slow.

Rey had absolutely no idea what to say to that. She didn't want to believe Finn, because he was probably wrong anyway and she didn't need that sort of disappointment. So she just sighed and lay her head against him, shutting her eyes for a little while.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey looked like she was asleep, she also looked a little sad and Kylo was worried it was because he had hijacked her Christmas, first with him and Knightmare, and then with his family.

He'd never liked Finn, and he liked him even less with Rey curled against him, as he casually stroked her hair.

"I think perhaps it's time we left you young people to it," Leia said quietly next to him.

Han grunted agreement, "Yeah, clearly they can't keep up with us."

Kylo rolled his eyes at them as he stood to make his goodbyes. He didn't feel nearly as antsy as he normally did in the presence of his parents - somehow Rey being there seemed to make things easier.

Once his family were gone and everyone was back on the sofas, he bravely chose to sit on Rey's otherside. The urge to tug her against him made his hands itch, but just being this near her was nice.

They were discussing what they should do now, when Rey's phone went off in her pocket, causing her to sit up abruptly, blinking confusedly before pulling it out and killing the alarm.

She looked around sheepishly, "Sorry… um, that means the Upstart Crow Christmas special is about to start. I can iplayer it later, unless people fancy watching?"

Phasma laughed, "Let's watch it, but everytime someone says bolingbrooks, pufflingpants, bitchington, futtocking or cod-dangle, you have to take a drink."

Kylo drank sparingly, taking small sips as he didn't want to end up being a dick and saying something wrong or being clumsy when he… well, he hadn't decided what he would do, but he promised himself he was going to do something before midnight.

This Christmas seemed to have a touch of magic to it, and he wanted to take advantage of it, however stupid that sounded. Today could have gone south in the worst possible way, and yet it hadn't. That had to mean something.

They were all squished onto the sofas so they could see the TV, and Rey was so close that her thigh touched his and he could feel the warmth of her body against the skin of his arms. And that black bra strap was showing again… He'd left the mistletoe on the floor, it was way too silly and cliché, he didn't want her to kiss him because a stupid plant said she should.

As the show progressed, he leaned back and cautiously put his arm along the back of the sofa, behind Rey.

Poe caught his eye and smirked, mouthing, _Finally,_ at him. Kylo looked back at the TV, feeling his ears growing warm.

He slowly lowered his arm, till his fingers brushed her shoulder, she jumped at little, looking at his hand and then at him. He tried giving her a crooked smile, her eyes widened, then she leaned away from Finn, and very, very gently, leant against him.

Somehow this tiny gestured felt momentous, and he wrapped his arm around her properly, pulling her more firmly against him.

She let out a soft sound, he wasn't sure what it meant, but she rested her head against his chest, and placed her arm over his stomach.

It felt fucking awesome and his mind started to wonder if this felt good, what would it feel like if he took her to bed?

Suddenly, he very much wanted everyone to get the fuck out of their flat.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey's body and mind were on high alert, and she was quietly freaking out at sitting so close to Kylo. She did her best to focus on Upstart Crow, but it was hard. He was so warm and so close, she stayed as still as was humanly possible, not even twitching her sweater back when it slipped off her shoulder for the thousandth time that day.

The hairs on her neck prickled as she felt a weight come to rest behind her head, then jerked in surprise as his fingers brushed the bare skin on her shoulder and she couldn't stop her head from turning to look at him.

His eyes, dark and warm, met hers and she felt her body flush with heat and without thinking about it she cautiously moved to lean against him. He reacted immediately, pulling her against the hard muscle of his body, and she bravely rested her head against his chest, completely obvious now to the TV and anyone else in the room.

The scent of him overwhelmed her, peppery and wonderful and she closed her eyes and concentrated on the sound of his heart, the scent of him and the feel, not wanting to forget it incase she had actually fallen asleep and was dreaming.

Then one of his hands started stroking her wrist, light circles against her skin. To her embarrassment, she felt her niples harden in response as heat started to coil between her legs. At least her sweater was fairly thick, it was unlikely anyone would notice.

She cautiously moved her other hand and slipped it under his t shirt, gently stroking the skin on his stomach. Her ears caught the sound of his heart speed up a little. His skin was smooth over the hard muscle, silky and hot and she desperately wanted to run her tongue over it, to see how it tasted.

His body tensed and she looked up to see him biting his lip as he looked at her, before he looked back up as the end credits sounded on the TV.

"All right everyone..."

Kylo's voice had somehow grown deeper, or maybe it was because she was leaning against his chest, she wasn't sure. Rey sat up as everyone turned to look at Kylo, her cheeks flushing even more.

"It's been really nice and all, but you guys need to leave now..." he glanced down at her, eyes intense, "Rey and I have some unfinished business to take care of, so, you know, off you fuck."

Rey attempted to feel outraged but came up with nothing other than a burning desire for everyone to get out, even though she was a bit nervous about what would happen when they did... Kylo looked _hungry._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Happy TROS day! Also wishing everyone a very Merry -Insert name of whatever it is you are celebrating here- ... So yeah, here you go, have some smut.**

**'**

* * *

'

Finn and Poe didn't need telling twice, grinning widely, Poe looking particularly smug for some reason as they made their goodbyes. Rose was firmly attached to Phasma, cheeks pink and a wide smile on her lips as they left together. Jess slipped her arm through Hux's, giving him a very warm look, he looked slightly surprise, before his lips curled upward and his normally cool eyes grew dark.

Kylo had to practically push Blaise out of the door, with Phasma coming back to grab his arm and dragging him out after her.

**'**

And then they were alone. The living area suddenly felt very empty. Kylo leaned against the closed door for a moment, before striding purposefully towards her.

Rey swallowed, feeling shy and unsure but before she could voice any questions, Kylo reached her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her.

She was fairly sure she had never been so thoroughly kissed in her life. She could feel her panties begin to grow damp just from the feel of his lips on hers, and as his tongue swept into her mouth she moaned, pressing herself against him as close as was possible.

They broke apart after a few minutes, both breathless as they stared at each other, before Kylo started kissing down her neck, as his hand pulled down the side of her sweater to give him access to more skin.

"Should have done this ages ago," he mumbled between kisses.

Rey wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to himself, either way, she agreed with him as she arched her neck and reached her hands back under his t shirt, stroking his sides before lightly running her nails up the broad planes of his back.

He groaned and drew away, "My room. Now," he tugged her along, "I am going to fuck you so hard you forget your own name and can only scream mine."

Rey felt her damp panties become very, very wet as her pussy throbbed with need. No one had ever said anything remotely that dirty to her before. Her memory reminded her of the time she had masturbated and had wondered what it would be like to have him above her and inside her. She almost melted into a puddle on the floor.

He flipped the lights on low and pulled her to a stop at the foot of his bed to kiss her once more as his fingers started undoing her belt and jeans. She whimpered into his mouth as he pushed them down and his fingers slipped inside her now drenched underwear.

He broke from her mouth with a gasp, "Fuck, Rey. God, you're so wet for me already."

Her legs started to tremble as he slid his fingers along her slit, drawing the wetness up and stroking it around her clit.

He groaned, "Wanna taste you," and he pushed her back onto the bed.

She didn't have time to protect over the surprise though because his lips were kissing her hip as his hands drew down her underwear, baring her to him. Her cheeks flushed with shyness at feeling so exposed, she normally had sex with the lights off and hidden under a duvet, on the few occasions when someone had gone down on her, they hadn't been able to see anything.

All that was forgotten however as his mouth met skin, laying an open mouthed kiss against her slickness before drawing his tongue up and down, moaning as he did so before sucking her clit into his mouth.

Rey lost her mind to sensation, her legs trembling and her hips twitching as she writhed beneath the large hand that he had splayed against her stomach to hold her down. She was dimly aware that she was babbling something in between sobs and moans, but other than that, she was completely consumed.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo was vaguely cognizant that perhaps he had rushed things. He had planned on undressing her like a present, kissing her everywhere as he did, but that had flown out the window when his fingers had touched her dripping pussy.

His cock went from semi to rock hard in seconds and all he could think about was the need to know how she tasted.

The answer had been _fucking amazing_. Like something you only got in heaven, if you had been very, very good.

He made her sing for him, crying and moaning as her body shook. When he could feel she was close, he slid a finger inside her, groaning a little over how tight and hot she felt, before he was distracted by her coming in his mouth as she convulsed.

He drank her down, curling his finger so he could reach her G spot, stroking it as he continued to work her with his lips and tongue, feeling pride and desire swell inside him as he pushed her over again.

Reluctantly he pulled away after she came for a third time, his swollen cock now painful, and he pretty much ripped his clothing off before lying down next to Rey, who was still twitching slightly, eyes closed and face dewy with sweat. He realised she was still clothed from the waist up, which was unacceptable, (he ignored the fact that it was his fault).

He gently lighted her to a sitting position, and she raised heavy lidded eyes to look at him, pupils wide. She was practically boneless and divesting her of her sweater was a little difficult, but he managed and threw it carelessly behind him before reverently drawing off her bra.

Finally he had her completely bare before him, and she was utterly perfect, golden skin and slender curves, small pert breasts with rock hard, deliciously pink nipples.

Her hair was still up in a messy bun and he decided that needed to be released too. The brown and auburn locks were wavey from being up and he hoped he could convince her to wear it down more often.

"Are you ready for me, Rey?" he asked as he stroked her cheek.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey fluttered her eyes open, she had was so overwhelmed, but she also felt a powerful need to have him inside her. Just the thought alone made her pussy flutter.

She licked her lips, watching as his eyes followed the movement, feeling so powerful despite her weakened state. He wanted her. This god of a man wanted her, was looking at her like she hung the moon and set fire to the fucking stars.

And oh sweet baby jesus he was naked. When had that happened? More importantly HOLY FUCKING SHIT...

Of course she had admired his physique before, it was impossible not to when the man insisted on wandering around topless all the time. But now she got to see what had been hidden by the towel or trousers.

She had frequently thought him a massive dick, but it had never occurred to her that he may also have one… and holy cow, he had.

Her mouth watered and her body clenched in anticipation, this was probably going to be painful but she couldn't find it in her to care, all she wanted right now was their bodies being joined. It was imperative that it happen now.

"Are you ready to scream for me?" his voice was rough and on edge, as though he were barely keeping himself together.

Rey didn't bother answering such a stupid question - she was fairly sure she had already done quite a lot of screaming; and she pulled his mouth to hers, hungrily delving inside as her hands slipped, finally, _finally,_ into his long, silky hair. She had burned to do that from the first time she met him, before any other sort of attraction had manifested she had wanted to lace her fingers through it. It was so soft and smooth, and she gently tugged on it as their tongues danced together, pulling a growl from his throat and he pushed her back against the mattress.

They continued kissing as he moved his body over hers, covering it with wonderfully hot, firm muscle. She automatically parted her legs so he could settle between them, her heart beating hard in here chest when she felt him reach down and press his cock against her entrance.

It felt scorching, impossibly hard as he ran it over her slit a few times, making her wriggle and whine against his lips.

Then he was pressing into her, she gasped at the stretch, forgetting to breathe for a moment, biting her lip as she tilted her head back and canted her hips up, aiding him as he slid into her. His pace was surprisingly careful, as if he were afraid he'd hurt her, she rolled her eyes internally, and jutted her hips again, pressing herself up his length, her hungry body swallowing him.

They both groaned as he bottomed out and paused for a moment. She could feel him filling every part of her, throbbing deep inside her and she had never felt so full, so complete as she did now. Part of her just wanted to lie there and appreciate how wonderful it felt to be stretched so perfectly. But another part of her needed him to start moving or she would lose her mind completely.

His face was buried in the curve of her neck, his hands distractedly smoothing up and down her sides, sending little shivers over her skin as he did, while his hot breath against her neck did the same.

Rey turned her head so she could whisper in his ear, "Fuck me," she told him, feeling utterly brazen, "I need you to fuck me, _now_."

He groaned against her skin, then bit down, sucking before the sting of his teeth barely registered, then started moving.

His pace was torturous at first, but he picked up speed, detaching from her neck to brace himself on his arms either side of her. Somehow, he continued to pick up the pace till her entire body jolted with each hard thrust.

Soon she was punctuating each stroke with cries, unable to stop the sounds from leaving her lips. The pleasure built quickly, he reached further than she was accustomed to, hitting that perfect, illusive spot she'd read about in magazines and her orgasm ripped through her, whiting out her mind till she could feel nothing but unbearable pleasure singing through every extremity.

She was faintly aware of him going faster, his pace now brutal, yet it was magnificent.

When he came, it was with a shout, a hoarse and ragged, "Fuck! Rey!"

Warmth filled her as his cock jolted inside her, and if she had thought she was full before, she was overflowing now.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Kylo collapsed on top of Rey, unable to support himself any longer. He was in shock, his body humming with awe at the pleasure he had found inside her.. He'd never come like that before, it had been hard and intense and almost bewildering... He needed to feel it again.

Rey's body fit him like a glove, perfectly and completely. He hadn't meant to come inside her, he normally pulled out to come on the girl's tits or finish in their eager mouths, but Rey had felt too good to leave, he just hadn't been able to, and he was so glad he hadn't, it had almost been a religious experience... He didn't feel the same as he had a few hours ago.

A warm, contented sigh sounded and he finally manage to lift his head to see her staring back at him with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Kylo grinned, "I'm…" he shook his head a little, "I'm fucking fantastic… what about you?"

Rey huffed a short laugh, "Now I understand why the other women you've brought back made so much noise."

Kylo frowned, it hadn't even occurred to him that she had been listening... and he really didn't want to think about any other woman right now, or for Rey to either. He reluctantly slid from the embrace of her body and rolled onto his back, pulling her against him as he did.

"I have a Christmas present for you," he said, changing the subject.

Rey made a surprised noise, "Oh… I have one for you too."

Kylo felt his eyebrows climb his forehead in shock, "Wait, you got me something even though you hated me?"

He felt her shrug, "I bought it before our… falling out."

"About that," he ventured, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Rey cut him off, "You said sorry already, Kylo. It's okay, you don't have to say it again."

He shut his mouth, he still felt like he should explain himself, so she'd understand, but maybe another time. "So, would you like your present now?"

To his amusement she immediately sat up, "Wait, let me go get yours and we can open them together!"

Rey wriggled over to the edge of the bed and stood, but immediately sat back down again, "Um, maybe I'll have a shower first though."

Kylo smirked as he stood himself but stayed upright, "Come share mine," he said as he pulled her up, "Looks like you need some help staying on your feet."

Rey yelped as he picked her up but didn't struggle as he walked to his bathroom. He had a large rainfall shower head, which delighted Rey as much as he'd hoped.

They washed the sweat and come from their bodies, enjoying doing the exploring they hadn't bothered with earlier. This, unsurprisingly, led to his cock hardening again and Rey slipped her arms around him as he hoisted her up to press her against the tiles, her legs wrapping around his waist as he sunk into her once more. It was like being welcomed home and he decided that boxing day was going to be spent in bed, with her and their front door dead bolted and their phones on silent.

**'**

**~'~*~'~**

**'**

Rey had been a little surprised that Kylo had offered her his shower, and even more surprised when they fucked for a second time. She wasn't complaining, far from it, but she knew he was a no strings attached sort of guy and she had assumed it would be a one time, getting it out of their systems fuck.

Either way it was again incredible, he seemed to know her body better than herself, to touch her in all the right places, in all the right ways.

**'**

Afterwards, he insisted on wrapping her in the bathrobe he never used, it was huge and snuggly. He himself, of course, merely wrapped a towel around his hips.

"You do realise that it is December, right?" she asked as she eyed him, "The middle of winter?"

He smirked and shrugged those massive shoulders, "I always run hot."

Rey snorted and went to get his present, glad she had kept hold of it and not thrown in off the balcony in a fit of pique.

He was still in his bedroom when she went to find him and she halted a little awkwardly in the doorway, unsure as to how they would now proceed, "Shall we open them by the tree?"

Oddly, he looked nervous, "I sort of need you to open yours here, if you don't mind?"

"Okay," she answered curiously as he fiddled with his computer, "Would you like yours first?"

She held it out to him, neatly wrapped in red paper and a black bow.

His lips quirked in amusement as he took it and pulled at the ribbon, "Shit," he looked up at her when he'd unwrapped it, "You got me a Bitcrusher?"

Rey felt the happy glow she always got when she gave presents and they were liked, but she gave him a casual shrug, "Yeah, figured you'd have most others."

"That's… thank you, this is awesome," he seemed genuinely surprised and that was another thing she loved about present giving, good surprises.

"You're welcome, glad you like it," was all she said.

He nodded then put it down on his desk and handed her a thin square wrapped in green paper. It was a thin jewel case with a cd inside with her name written on it in black sharpie.

Puzzled, she looked up at him, "So, I, ah, couldn't think of something to get you to say sorry, so I just… wrote you some music instead," and he pressed play on his computer.

It was an acoustic guitar piece, it was simple in its beauty, wordless, yet it spoke to her and she found herself sitting on his bed as the music swelled, now supported by violins and cellos. It made her heart ache and she was too absorbed in it to feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she listened. When it ended, the refrain seemed to hang in the air like an echo, as if it were unwilling to leave her in silence.

It took her a few seconds to notice Kylo standing a few paces away, and she hurriedly wiped her damp cheeks with the arm of his rode. "That-" she cleared her throat, "That was… it was so beautiful. I don't really know what else to say," she swallowed, "Thank you, Kylo."  
He knelt down so they were face to face, "It was all the things I wanted to say to you, but didn't know how," he said quietly.

Rey shivered a little despite the warmth of his dressing gown, and raised her eyes to his, what she found there was something she had not been looking for, or expecting, but perhaps secretly hoping for, even if she hadn't known it till now.

The fingers of his right hand came up to stroke her cheek, trembling slightly against her skin, "Stay with me? Tonight?"

Against her better judgement, Rey nodded, despite knowing that she was in danger of her heart getting broken, she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms, and just for one night, she'd allow it. But Kylo wasn't finished talking, "And, if you want to, many nights more?"

Rey blinked, "What?" she asked stupidly.

Kylo gave her a crooked grin, before kissing her softly on the mouth, "I want you, I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

For a moment, Rey was convinced he was taking the piss and waited for him to grin and laugh, but he didn't, and he even started to look afraid as the silence stretched between the.

"Oh," she said at last, aware she sounded dumb but unable to be more eloquent right now, "Okay, I mean, yes."

Kylo let out a breath as if he had been holding it in, perhaps he had, "Yes?" his voice sounded strained.

Red nodded, "Yes."

It was a small and simple word, but it brought him back to life from where he had been frozen in front of her. He pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms, burying his face in her damp hair.

"Fuck, you had me worried there for a second," he breathed shakily.

Rey laughed, it bubbled out of her as her heart soared in her chest, "So long as you stop hiding my tea, anyway."

Kylo snorted as he pulled away and stood up and drawing her to her feet, "I'll stop hiding your tea if you stop burning candles. Don't even try to deny it, I know you still do."

Candles or Kylo? No brainer really. Rey smiled up at him, "Fine. Now take me to bed, you bloody giant."

Kylo seemed only to happy to comply.

'


End file.
